The Art of the Thank You Note

Filed in archive Q&A Archives on June 2, 2008

Q: How long do I have after my wedding to send out thank you notes? I've heard that I have a year. Is that right?

A: Oh my. The "year" rule, again. You would think, in this age of instant everything, that people would be more timely than a year in writing "thank you's." But this is one of those customs that's slowly going the way of the dinosaur. Or the cassette tape.

Technically speaking, you should write your thank you notes as soon as possible after receiving your gifts. I'm not quite sure where the one year time frame came into play. Yes, if you are so incredibly busy-starring in an Oscar-winning movie perhaps? saving the world, maybe?-you may need a whole year to send out thank you's, but if at all possible, please don't take that long to thank your guests for their generosity.

I know that sometimes, people often feel they're not up to writing a perfect thank you note. The vast majority of the people who took the time to not only buy a gift for you, but also celebrated with you when you got married, aren't looking for a perfect thank you. They want simple acknowledgment that their gift was received and appreciated (and if you didn't appreciate it, don't let on).

If you received a mountain of gifts, then yes, you have to thank each gift giver, so massage your hands a little and get ready for some serious writing. You don't have to do it all in a day, but you do have to handwrite your thank you notes. I say take a weekend, make a list of everyone you need to thank, and work your way through it, with a friendly cup of coffee or tea nearby. Take two weekends if needed, but do it. Need more advice? Try How to Write a Thank You Card.