Mixing Genders

Filed in archive Wedding Etiquette on March 8, 2007

A lot of brides today are asking the question: "Can I have a male attendant?" and "Can he have a female attendant?" and the answer, is yes - provided both the couple and the attendant want it that way:) SO - how do you deal with the details?

What are they called?

There are different options including:
For Men in the Bride's Party: Bride's Attendant, Bridesmen, Man of Honor
For Women in the Groom's Party: Groom's Attendant, Bestmaid, Best Woman, Best Matron, Groomswomen

What Do You Do The Procession/Dance/Etc?

Do you end up with two ladies walking/dancing together or two men walking/dancing together? While you could do it that way, for comfort reasons, most brides choose to go other routes. For the processional, they easiest option is to have the groom's attendants enter from the side of the church and stand at the front while the bride's attendants proceed down the aisle solo. For dancing, the most common option is to have the effected bridal party members dance with their own spouses/partners.

What do they wear?

Again, you have a number of options:
For Men in The Bride's Party: They could wear tuxedos to match the groomsmen, or they may have a different vest color, tie color and/or boutonniere to match the other bridesmaids and set them apart from the groom's attendants.
For Women in The Groom's Party: A female groom's attendant can wear a tuxedo to match the other groomsmen, or a more feminine pants suit - but most of the time, they choose to wear a dress. It may be a dress that matches the bridesmaids, or a black gown to match the tuxedo color. Usually, they will wear either a small boutonniere or wrist corsage rather then carry a bouquet.