Ladies, Ladies

Filed in archive Wedding Etiquette on February 20, 2007

One of the first things most bride's do is to pick a wedding party - and a lot of people have questions as to what is correct etiquette, what is required, etc - here is a run down to help you with the basics:

WHO should be in your wedding party?

Your wedding party should be people who are close to you, people you can count on and people you respect. This may include your best friends, your sisters, cousins, aunts, mothers, nieces, daughters, his sisters etc - anyone really, it is your choice. I have often been asked if it is okay NOT to include family and to only have friends - and the answer is yes - there is no rule saying you have to include any particular person. And no, they don't have to be single.

Can you change your mind after?

Generally no - once you have asked someone to be in the wedding party, it is very rude to kick them out - so pick carefully. Of course, there are some circumstances that may be an exception, but in most cases the answer is no.

What are they responsible for?

The Maid Of Honor or Matron of Honor(if married)

- Pays for her own gown, accessories and hair though if finances allow, some brides do help out. If you can't afford to, be kind and keep her budget in mind when picking a dress.

- Often hosts a bridal shower and/or bachelorette party. This is generally her responsibility but if she is unable to do one or both, she can enlist the help of family or other wedding party members instead.

- Helps the bride with wedding planning when possible.

- Gives the toast to the bride at the reception

- During the ceremony, the MOH usually acts as a witness and signs the marriage license. She may also be required to help the bride dress before the ceremony, adjust the bride's train during the ceremony, hold the bride's flowers while she is exchanging rings and hold on to the bride's engagement ring during the ceremony.

The Bridesmaids

- Pays for their own gown, accessories and hair though again if finances allow, some brides do help out. If you can't afford to, be kind and keep their budgets in mind when picking a dress.

- May assist the maid of honor in planning/hosting showers or bachelorette parties

- Helps the bride with wedding planning if the maid of honor can not.

- May give a speech at the reception if asked, but not always required

Wedding party members are also responsible for their own gifts for the couple, transportation and lodging for the wedding if they need to travel to get there, etc. They are not responsible for ANY other wedding costs. That may seem obvious - but I talked to one women recently who was the MOH and the bride was demanding she pay for the wedding favors for the reception!