With the many changes in todays family dynamics, many people who are getting married already have children either together or from a previous relationship. Traditional Etiquette doesn't say much on the issues this brings to a wedding, and many brides in this situation are looking for ways to include their children in the wedding itself. After all, it is no longer about joining one man and one woman - know you are joining together an entire family! Here are a collection of ideas I have gathered from weddings I have attended, planned or heard about along with some of my own ideas:

1. The Wedding Party - Depending on their ages, there are various roles your children can play including flower girl, ring bearer, bridesmaid, maid of honor, groomsman, bestman, junior bridesmaid, junior groomsman, candle lighter, usher, guest book attendent, soloist or special reading. If the child is the bride's they could also walk you down the aisle and give you away.

2. The Invitation - Since the wedding is about the whole family, many people choose to include their children on the invitation, often as the "hosts" of the event. (Miss Amanda Jane requests the honor of your presence at the marriage of her mother.....) Or, they could be included as part of the couple's names:

Your presence is requested as

Miss Jane Doe

daughter of __________,

Mr Dave Smith

son of ___________

and their children

Mr Sam Smith, Miss Amy Smith and Miss Tina Doe

begin their lives together.

3. The Ceremony - It is becoming very common to see weddings of this nature with vow ceremonies between the child and the new step parent. The new parent vows to love, honor, protect and provide for the child as their own, the child vows to honor, respect and love the parent as their own. In some cases, they also exchange symbolic gifts: a promise ring, bracelet, necklace, chain, watch, etc.

Another common practice is to have the child participate in the unity ceremony in some way. With candles, they may have a third candle, or they may blow out the parents individual candles once the main candle is lit. For a sand ceremony, they may have their own color of sand to add to the mix, or they might have a lid to place on the mixed container afterwards "sealing the deal" so to speak.

4. The Reception - There are a number of ways to have your children involved at the reception, again depending on age. If they are old enough and not to shy, they could give a speech or a toast to the new couple. They could also be seated at the head table with their new family. During dances, you could have a special dance: for example, a daughter/step father dance, son/stepmother dance, etc.

5. The Honeymoon - okay NO I am not going to suggest that you have to take them on your honeymoon - even parents want some time to celebrate on their own, lol. But, at the same time, this wedding needs to be celebrated with them as well. One option is to plan a small familymoon as well - either a few days before you leave on your private honeymoon or for a few days after. Take a camping trip or some special vacation as a family to celebrate your new family with them as well.